The King Of All Communications

Ask anyone what is the most powerful mode of communication and many would come up with telepathy: it’s redolent with magic and spiritual dimensions. Maybe others would opt for music; that certainly moves us, heart and soul; it’s powerful stuff all right. But actually, humble everyday touch is the unequalled king of all communications!

The sense of touch is visceral, immediate, and memorable. When you touch someone or something, you have a direct physical connection between yourself and the person or thing – impossible with written words, images or video. What’s more, it’s fast – you can transfer a lot of information in just a few seconds, which you can’t by talking about yourself or your feelings!

For all our reticence about touching, especially with strangers, touch can enable us to communicate our feelings with an astonishing accuracy. Whereas visually the only really reliable emotion that can be identified is joy or delight, participants in a 2009 scientific trial run by psychologist Matthew Hertenstein of DePauw University were able to communicate eight distinct emotions – anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, sympathy, happiness, and sadness – with accuracy rates as high as 78 percent.

Touch and Accord

Touch is rightly important in our Supernoetics™ Constellation of Accord. This powerful intellectual property of ours brings together, in a dazzling formation of stars, all the workable elements of accord between people.

Touch would indeed be a key form of communication. But students of advanced knowledge and understanding will quickly see that it also nestles rather nicely alongside the attachment theory and is part of what we call togetherness, closeness or – to give it its technical term – propinquity.

Touch is for greeting, touch is for harmony, touch is for love and touch is very much for healing. This powerful communication modality is so important that many peoples consider it an important act of devotion to merely touch an advanced spiritual being. Indeed, merely touching the hem of his or her robe is considered sufficient to pass on a blessing and distribute some healing force.

I hope some day members of our Supernoetics™ tribe will evolve a simple but elegant form of touch greeting, by which we can share our values of love, wisdom, strength and giving care to others. In the meantime, a well-meant hug communicates volumes of compassion and connectedness.

Spiritual Powers

Touch may seem a very down to earth, humble, mechanical means of interchange between individuals. But it does have very powerful spiritual dimensions too. Touch is sacred and should be cherished as such.

Stories of divine miracles often rely on touch. Christian healing stories of this genre, such as Jesus reviving the dead, are well-known in the West. However there are many other similar tales of magical touch in other cultures and religions.

The context may not even require religious overtones, just intense love. The revival of dead baby Ogg is well documented. Jamie Ogg was born premature at 27 weeks in 2010, pronounced dead, but then revived simply by his mother’s touch. As mother Kate Ogg bid her son a sad goodbye, she hugged and soothed him, telling him his twin sister Emily was fine and that she loved him.

Five minutes later, the couple noticed their son gasping for air. He revived in full and grew to a normal life. This is an example of what today is called “kangaroo care” of premature babies; a reflection of the marsupial nurturing pouch of the mother.

New research is undermining old and wretched “scientific” notions, like the no-touch rule for premature babies. Gentle massage of preemies in their incubator has been found to reduce mortality and help them grow normally and develop along balanced functional lines.

Mother’s Touch

Touch is our first language.

We begin receiving tactile signals even before birth, as the vibration of our mother’s heartbeat is amplified by amniotic fluid. Her voice is the first human communications we hear, even though we don’t understand the language as yet. It’s just a reverberation in the waters.

Mother has many other body sensations too which transmit to the fetus, from breaking wind to sexual arousal. The developing fetus gets it all!

This symphony of maternal sounds becomes part of our Eigen resonance field, our own personal store of energies and vibrations. The Eigen field defines our physical self and what we experience.

After birth, a mother’s touch enhances attachment between mother and child; it can signify security (“You’re safe; I’m here”) and, depending on the type of touch, it can generate positive or negative emotions. Positive touch interactions can include games; negative might mean a warning or alert signaled by mother’s firm touch.

Everyone knows that mother’s touch is soothing and healing, when in pain or sick.

University of Miami School of Medicine’s Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute, has linked mother’s touch to a slew of benefits, including better sleep, reduced irritability, and increased sociability among infants – as well as improved growth of preemies.

Of course there are recognized benefits from father’s touch too.

One of the key physiological phenomena behind gentle touch is the release of the “cuddle hormone”, oxytocin. It’s a two-way traffic; the one touching receives a similar hormone “dose” to the one being touched. Studies have shown that a person giving a hug gets just as much benefit as a person being hugged.

Touch Against Fear and Anxiety

In a series of classic experiments, Jim Coan, a neuroscientist at Virginia University, ran brain scans of married women subjected to strong pain. The women were stressed, of course, even though this was a voluntary experience. But as soon as the women touched the hands of their husbands, there was an instant drop in activity in the areas of the brain involved in fear, danger, and threat. The women reported feeling calmer and less stressed, as soon as they felt a familiar touch.

There was a similar, but smaller, effect triggered by the touch of strangers. But help from strangers can be very striking indeed. Ayana Byrd, writing in Good Housekeeping, tells a great story:

Though her passport is full of stamps, Ayana describes herself as the coward of all fliers. For years, every trip involved her taking herbal sedatives, followed by half a sleeping pill as soon as she boarded, followed by a drink of wine to nudge things along. The worst flight of her life was a 90-minute ride in a rickety, about-to-fall-out-of-the-sky plane in South Africa.

As she sat in her turbulence-rattled seat and wept, sure that everyone onboard was going to die, a stranger saw her, went over, and said she could hold her hand until she (Ayana) felt better. The stranger probably didn’t think that would be for the entire flight, but it was! Ayana couldn’t let go. The stranger’s soft skin and firm grip left her feeling more at ease than she’d ever been on a plane.

Here’s the good part: now, amazingly, all it takes to keep Ayana calm on flights is remembering that stranger’s touch. No more sleeping pills.

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/author/3919/ayana-byrd/

Touch is a key component of very many traditional healing arts, from Reiki to acupressure; massage to reflexology; and is being increasingly studied in mainstream medicine. Clinical trials show symptom benefits in a number of areas, from asthma and high blood pressure to migraine and childhood diabetes. Other research findings hint that not only does touch lower stress levels, but that it can boost the immune system and halt or slow the progress of disease.

Professor Edzard Ernst, former professor of complementary medicine at the University of Exeter, revealed his widespread ignorance and foolishness when he claimed that the power of touch is all down to the placebo effect. It is very much mind over matter, he has claimed. It has nothing to with the sensation of being touched; it is the expectation and the context of the intervention, rather than the specific effect of that intervention. Yet he produces absolutely NO evidence, data or figures for his ridiculous claim, which flies in the face of current scientific discovery.

But then windbag Ernst has always put his own narrow-minded opinions in front of valid science. Still, you will see the old duffer quoted in this.

Social Codes

It seems remarkable, given its powers to connect, that touch is bordering on a social taboo. We are allowed to shake hands with strangers; that’s a way of relaxing the touch codes. We are given limited permission to put our arms around someone, slap them on the back or touch their hand or cheek. After that, you may face accusations of harassment or even molestation. Be careful. Most so-called harassment cases are based upon touch that was not welcomed.

The proverbial handshake is actually a good opener. It’s one of the few situations in which it’s OK to make prolonged contact with a stranger. Therefore it is an important opportunity for sending and receiving signals. A limp handshake signifies uncertainty, low enthusiasm or introversion. On the other hand, a vice-like grip is not a good alternative; it might signal you are trying to dominate, or that you are crudely unaware of other’s discomfort, neither of which are welcome roles to play.

A firm but relaxed grasp is the aim, showing you are a person of natural warmth, not over the top, or holding back. Touching anywhere from the shoulder down to the hands is OK, as for example holding the elbow with the opposite hand while you shake.

Two adults holding hands is a singular gesture, but it takes its meaning from context. We are accustomed to it as a sign of intimacy in a couple, beyond mere friendship. But if you have spent time in Arab countries, like I have, you will soon be aware that adult men holding hands is a normal and very common gesture of friendship. They walk along lost in conversation, while engaged in this particular act of touch. What tends to make us squirm is, to them, perfectly accepted behavior that does not usually imply sexual closeness.

Of course, if you add prolonged gaze or certain other signals, then touch can transform to being sexual very quickly.

Let me next give an escalating code of touch in pursuit of intimacy between lovers.

12 Degrees of Intimate Touch Contact

These come from British zoologist and best-selling author Desmond Morris, published in his 1971 book Intimate Behavior: A Zoologist’s Classic Study of Human Intimacy. Note that after the first 3 stages, all further steps towards intimacy are based on touch.

Eye to body.

One visually sizes up a potential mate.

Eye to eye.

The couple attempt to make eye contact. If the other averts their gaze, that’s pulling away. The attempts may be repeated but eventually will lead to sundering.

Voice to voice.

The next step is to strike up a conversation. If that goes well, sooner or later it moves to…

Hand to hand (or arm).

The very first step in physical contact is usually simple and not socially challenging. Allowing someone to touch is a measure of trust.

Arm to shoulder.

Putting an arm around the other’s shoulder is more significant. It implies possession or bonding; it’s a “mine” gesture to others.

Arm to waist, or back.

This is not so much a signal for others as a signal to the desired. The active partner is saying, “I want you.” Arms around the waist show a growing familiarity and comfort in the relationship.

Mouth to mouth.

Kissing. This is the big milestone in deepening a relationship. Mixing body fluids, as they call it, is immediately more intimate. Note that for some races, rubbing noses is considered every bit as intimate.

Hand to head.

Either partner can take the lead. Allowing someone to touch one’s head shows a deepening trust. The head is perceived as “me” and is an intimate object, second only to the sexual areas.

Hand to body.

This step moves the couple into the beginnings of foreplay. It soon takes on erotic overtones, even without touching sexual areas. For some women, for example, to be stroked on the shoulder or nuzzled on the ear lobe is a very powerful turn on; more so than having the breasts fondled.

Mouth to breast.

No mistaking this stage. It’s sexual. It’s still possible for the woman to pull back, although this is another step along the foreplay route.

Hand to genitals.

This is probably the point of no turning back. The commitment has been made. If the woman does change her mind, it will be very frustrating for the male. It’s also likely to label the woman as a “tease”, if she allows it and then withdraws the privilege.

Genitals to genitals.

Bang. – All the way. This is the sex act. We all know it has a wonderful sensual touch quality that arouses special sensations that are powerful, yet attractive.

Let me repeat: 4 – 12 are all about degrees of touch. Touch is the music, our bodies the instrument.

Touch Accord

When I was living in Spain, back in the 1990s, I developed a system of healing that I called “Touch-Harmony”. Today, I’m sure I would have named it Touch-Accord, in line with the Supernoetics™ Constellation of Accord. I’d like to share some of those thoughts with you here, which seem to me as fresh and appropriate as when I wrote them:

We all touch too little. Some people don’t like to touch at all. Contact with their fellow beings has become so remote and uncomfortable that it is no longer welcome.

Yet, if we are touched, we access such a strong bond, a feeling of love and belonging that it becomes automatically safe to talk, to open up, and share.

It is a wonder to me, as a busy working physician, that my colleagues – especially those in the field of psychiatry – have not tumbled to this wonderful simple truth of human interchange. How many patients would not feel calmed and soothed if the physician in charge took their hand and held it a while, gazing warmly into the patient’s eyes?

It’s so obvious; kids know it! Yet, as adults, we get too sophisticated, too hedged around with complicated social rules, that we forget who we are. We drift out of touch.

You see, we even have an expression “out of touch”, meaning to be no longer mutually aware of each other’s existence. We have another expression “touching”, which means that something has tugged at the heartstrings.

So you see the idea of physical contact is central to issues such as love, emotion and sharing experience.

Some Curious Science

Touch is a means of generating energy. It takes two poles, like a battery, to create a current and so it is with the magic of rapport between two people. Take one individual and there is potential; add another and there is an effect. Energy begins to flow when there are two poles; one is not enough.

Now sexuality is also, it happens, bipolar.

There is a peculiar kind of energy between men and women. The basic flow is not – need not be – sexual. But it has definite positive and negative qualities; male and female; yin and yang in Chinese philosophy. It could be said that each aspect of this inter-relationship is incomplete without the other, the complementary half. Put another way, yin makes yang; feminine makes masculine (and vice versa).

What I found with Touch-Harmony is that we can utilize this gift of bipolarity from Nature with great effect. The Touch-Harmony conversations, because they cross the gender gap, have a power and a depth that would not otherwise come about. As a simple illustration of this point, think of a woman who wants to complain about her husband’s faults. Now suppose she grumbles to other women: well, it doesn’t change her feelings much, because this woman-to-woman grumbling has been going on since the dawn of time and manifestly achieves little. Indeed, it can often reinforce the problems, since other the women are having a bad experience too. They will tend to solidify each others’ complaints.

But if that woman talks to a man, particularly one who listens sensitively, everything changes. He isn’t the same energy and psychological mold as her. In fact he’s the opposite or complementary type.

This concept of complementary is important… It’s polarity at work.

The uniting of the strengths of men and women is one of the key features of this method that makes it so successful. The man can joke, or talk back and this often leads to a liberating shift of perspective. This change in viewpoint can be decisive. Any problem viewed from a different angle will seem less menacing and daunting.

In fact, if you can see things in an altogether new light, you’ll probably laugh yourself at the absurdity of some of your fears and hates.

It so happens that the vast majority of patients who sought the unique benefits of Touch-Harmony were women. That is not (necessarily) because they suffer more. It really reflects the fact that women tend to look at personal issues more frankly and honestly; whereas men try to avoid things by shutting them out and pretending nothing is wrong.

The fact is that any man who wants to come to terms with his “Inner Male” and is willing to talk openly and freely, will benefit just as much from Touch-Harmony. All the above remarks about gender complementarity apply in full.

But for a woman, there was something special in this: she could make a friend in a warm and relaxing touch relationship with a man who has learned to shut up and listen to her, without interrupting and without targeting her sexually in any way!

All practitioners are vetted and medically supervised. A therapy couch is used and a light state of undress is required, to facilitate adequate skin contact. But there is nothing suggestive or compromising; nothing is done that wouldn’t be done in front a group of friends (apart from the sacrifice of privacy).

This technique is not massage as such. It is pretty much what is says: touch to open up the mental pathways and gradually, over the weeks, to create a new sense of well-being, harmony and freedom.

Touch Healing

Touch probably comes into to its own in the field of healing. Nothing is quite so restorative as the touch of another beloved person or a person who is physically well and carries prosperous energies.

Heck, even animals can heal with their touch. It’s become big business today; doctors and practitioners will even prescribe the companionship of a cat or dog; even a cheerful parrot has something to offer (reptiles and fish don’t quite cut it!)

In Supernoetics™ we take this healing aspect of touch far beyond normal boundaries and discover some almost magical techniques for healing and restoration.

In the 1970s I was an examiner for The St John Ambulance Brigade in Manchester, UK. I would give the first-aiders their final test; most were very good indeed. Invariably, I took the opportunity to hand out an info card, detailing each of the following remedies. First aiders are uniquely placed to use them to bring almost instant calming and relief.

Each is about touch as a form of solid communication.

Feel My Hands

As everyone knows, holding an injured part is comforting. If a special person holds it for you, that’s even better!

We can adapt this simple property to get remarkable results. If a person is hurt or injured, and in pain, you can put your hand(s) in contact with his or her body and ask them to “feel” your hand(s).

Get all the first aid stuff out of the way first: removal from danger, sitting or lying safely, stop the bleeding, a Band-Aid, splints or bandages and so forth. Call an ambulance if you have to. Oh, and get rid of waste-of-space bystanders. Then do Feel My Hands.

Take control and with a reassuring, calm voice, touch the patient’s body with one or both hands (both is better) and say, “Feel my hand(s).” Get a reply that tells you the patient is cooperating and acknowledge. Then move your hands to another position and repeat the command, “Feel my hand(s),” etc.

Work around but not directly on the injured part; avoid any touch which would intensify the pain. If the person is apprehensive because of this, you can begin on a distant part of the body, and then gradually work towards the injured area. Let him or her gain assurance that the soothing of pain is the aim, not provocation of the injury.

Really, the target is not the injured limb or zone, so don’t get obsessed with that. The real target is the neurological system and connective tissues of the whole body. You are re-establishing the patient’s communication with their own body, using touch as a cue.

You see, when a part is injured, the body tends to shut it off. Witness, for example, the fact that a broken or shattered limb is, at first, quite numb. All nerve messages are closed down; the patient feels little or nothing. Blood vessels are sealed, to prevent blood loss. Only gradually are the nerve conduction and circulation pathways re-opened. The full pain may not come on for several hours, after a severe injury.

To stimulate this re-opening of communication pathways, make a point of placing your hands distal (further from the head) than the injured part. That way the body is coaxed into “looking” beyond the injury and so opening up the networks.

Another important point is to work on both sides of the body equally. It is wrong to think pain affects only the injured part: pain rides as a shockwave throughout the entire body, including crossing over to the other side in a sort of mirror effect. Moreover it resonates backwards and forwards, several times, like a swinging gate, before it settles down. Pain is technically called a standing wave.

Sometimes you may not even be able to get at the injured part; it could be covered in bandages, a splint or a cast. In which case work diligently on the site of the injury but on the opposite side of the body. You be amazed how well this works.

God forbid; if someone has lost a limb or part, you can still heal and reduce the pain, by working on the identical limb or part on the opposite side.

Stay in communication with the person. Listen to his or her responses and acknowledge them – don’t ignore what he or she is saying, even if it sounds silly.

Finally, the really skilled Supernoetics™ trained person will take up each squirm, gasp or groan as if it was a verbal communication and ask, “What’s happening?”

You can stop when he or she reports being more comfortable. 30 – 60 minutes is about right. Stop if he or she starts laughing it off; the pain has probably all but gone!

Applications: sprains, fractures, cuts and tears, blows, dental work, falls, scuffs and puncture wounds. Remember your usual head injury warnings.

Hands Sweeping Remedy

This is one I developed during experiments with my first wife Pauline, who was a very fine nurse. Working together, we found that using our hands to sweep over a person’s body can make him or her feel better, calmer and more harmonious. It can even “sweep away” pain.

We theorized that it was about aligning turbulent energies around the person’s body. The general rule in health and healing is that turbulence is bad, alignment is good.

Have him or her lie on a bed, sofa or therapists couch. No degree of undress is required. Tell him or her to shut their eyes and relax.

Start with the person prone (face down) and work on the shoulders, back, buttocks and legs. Take both your hands and sweep along the body. Try to imagine they are covered in mud or jello and you are trying to wipe it away. That will give you the right sort of motion.

It is a sort of cleansing motion and it’s a cleansing effect we are trying for.

Note this is a whole body technique. Don’t just concentrate on a part. Turn him or her to the supine position (on their back) and repeat the whole process.

This one is quick: 10 – 15 minutes produces fast change; then it fades away. Not much to be gained by going on and on at it.

Applications: fatigue, upset, confusion, ailments, malaise, fever, tooth and jaw pain, earache, emotional storms, sickly part and discomfort short of pain. It’s also good for bellyache but you must remember the dangers of the “acute abdomen” (severe bellyache can denote serious, even life-threatening complaints).

Touch The Spot

Again this healing is based directly on the effect of touch. There is an old, old philosophical principle in healing, which is to return to the exact spot where you were hurt and re-enact the injury.

Be sensible, of course, and if the part that hurt a person was a hot stove or object, make sure it is cooled before he or she re-contacts it. If it is basically soiled or unhygienic, clean it up first!

Otherwise this touch remedy is very simple. Have the person adopt the exact position they were in when the physical universe struck them. Get them to make the exact movement they were doing at the time, though much slower, so they don’t smack themselves against the hard object a second time!

Very gently, he or she searches for the exact spot they were touched when they were hurt and the exact spot that touched them. Meaning: the exact spot on their person is placed against the exact spot in the physical universe. He or she will always know, because a sharp pain will appear and then fly off.

It’s gone; it won’t come back. That’s it; end of remedy. It sometimes takes just a few seconds. Stop when the pain makes its appearance and then disappears. To keep doing it serves no further benefit. This is a quick remedy.

Again, it relies on the powerful properties of touch.

Applications: blows, injuries, burns, accidentally hitting one’s self with an object (like a hammer), anything impact (like whacking your head on a door or beam), electric shocks (with the current turned OFF, obviously).

Miscellany

That concludes my review of touch and touch therapies. You will readily see why I bill it as The King Of All Communications. Nothing is quite like touch.

A person can fool you with words or gestures. But this knocks so-called “body language” into a cocked hat. Touch is real, present and can’t be dissembled. It is, in truth, the only way you are really going to know what a person is thinking.

It’s powerful and positive. If you hold someone’s hand while you talk to them, you can stoke up the meaning and level of rapport quite easily.

I recommend, if you are dealing with a crash of accord (an upset or quarrel), that you take the other person’s hand while you talk. Don’t resist the gesture, if you are asked to do this.

Touch appears over and over in our lives as something enriching, educational, soothing and purposive. Women will report the especially pleasant feelings of having their hair brushed or mussed, of having fingernails polished and toenails clipped.

Men don’t get enough of this sort of rapport and we need more. Something is lacking in just the touch of a fishing rod, carpenter’s tools, wood or metal! It’s sensualist but not really about accord.

There is no question: if you want to make someone feel good, love you more and stay in rich harmony, then you should include plenty of touching.

My wife heals me in bed virtually every night, prior to sleep, and I can extol its powerful virtues. By “healing” I mean she gets into communication with Higher Power and passes this rapture into my tired body, by means of stroking and loving touch. I’d like to think my medical wisdom has something to do with my Peter Pan days but I’m sure that this nightly ritual, too, adds to my years of pleasure and vigor on this Earth.